Ive Got Issues that noone can see.

At this point in life, its no longer trying, i DO hide everything. behind every smile is an ocean of tears. behind every laugh, is a cry for help. Ive become such an actress that those around me cannot tell whats honestly going on, i prefer things this way. It allows me to move through my little fabricated happiness unseen. I pray to God, and i just hope he can hear me. It feels like he cant. . im just holding onto life with one hand, hanging in there. Plenty times i feel like tapping out, but i cant give them the satisfaction of knowing i gave in, but im only human. Ive been bearing a weight for some years now, and times when i thought i threw it off my shoulders, i just wake up with it right back there.